


strangely nice, having a spider in your head.

by earltrancy



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: (mostly), Angst, Bittersweet, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, abstract concept, cielois shared headspace, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:49:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8688343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earltrancy/pseuds/earltrancy
Summary: you want it out at first,but then it spins its pretty thread.[[He resisted him, of course. This was the boy he'd once sworn to kill. But Alois... He was Ciel's foil. As such, and unfortunately for Ciel, the Earl Trancy broke into his psyche quite easily, and dare say, fit it perfectly.]]





	

In all honesty, Ciel Phantomhive found it rather easy accepting Alois Trancy's presence in his head.

He resisted him, of course. This was the boy he'd once sworn to kill. But Alois... He was Ciel's foil. As such, and unfortunately for Ciel, the Earl Trancy broke into his psyche quite easily, and dare say, fit it perfectly. The recessed corner of Ciel's mind where he often went to calm anxieties had just enough room and just enough light for two young boys to sit comfortably. The acoustics of the room, if one could call it a room, made it so Alois's tender, pleasant voice had a tender, pleasant reverberation. Strangely (to him), Ciel was comforted by his counterpart's incessant talking. He drifted in and out of actually listening and just hearing the lulls and rises of his speech. It was silent in Ciel's mind most of the time, and so very lonely.

Not that he would ever admit that to anyone.

~

"Ciel?"

"Ciel, c'mon. Wake up, now." The words were about as patient as Alois was capable of, but the tone was gentle. 

This voice, the hand on his arm, the smiling, sky-blue eyes that greeted his - it wasn't the worst way to wake up. Ciel didn't bother to question how Alois always woke first even though they were currently the same being. 

>I still assume he's an insomniac; I hope he's alright on my rest alone.<

Nope. Never even thought about it. 

A hand caressed his cheek; he smiled and leaned into it on instinct.

"Aha! I knew you were awake." 

Ciel's eyes fluttered open as he covered the hand with his own. "Good morning, Alois."

Alois scoffed. "No it isn't." He kept Ciel's hand in his as he scooted to lean back against the wall, their usual position.

Ciel took a deep, sleepy sigh before following suit, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "No?"

And suddenly Ciel was himself, looking out at Claude smiling to him as he gave the breakfast menu in his disgusting, syrupy drivel. The sad smell of what was meant to be jasmine tea overwhelmed Ciel's senses, and he turned up his nose with a grimace, interrupting Claude in a restrained growl to inform him that there was more artistry to tea than carelessly pouring hot water over leaves, before he sighed and allowed Alois to pull him back.

Alois squeezed his counterpart's hand as he nodded in agreement. "You're right, it isn't."

~

That was what had united them, originally. The betrayal. The newfound and overwhelming distaste for their hellish caretakers.

They were demons, surely two upright nobleman knew better than to put any faith in bloody demons. But they were also children, without family, who were forced to grow up quickly. Both had taken his mortal soul into his hands and asked for power. Both had received, in return, someone to aid his every ill, someone who took watch of him for the days and tucked him in for the nights, and how could children so tortured by life not put faith in such as that?

And then one was murdered and one found himself in the center of a bargain beyond that which he had agreed to. 

Doubtlessly, Alois won in that department. He had cried in an undignified sob while Ciel had sat in silent, festering rage.

Claude had not, of course, expected the two to realize the whole of their situation so quickly. But how could Ciel not with Alois's damned blithering?

"He's not worth your love, git."

Ciel still wasn't sure whether he'd said it in a genuine attempt to calm the other boy, or just as a momentary distraction from his own internal monologue.

Either way, it had had a satisfactory effect: Alois had quieted, wiped his nose, and looked over at Ciel questioningly.

Ciel almost didn't hear the other boy's uncharacteristically soft reply. "What do you mean?"

He'd scoffed in reply. "I mean what I said. A craving for affection isn't an adequate reason to give out love like samples. He's beneath you."

Alois had sniffed a breath in, face set into a weak resolve. "Claude loves me."

"Then why are you dead?"

Ciel had always been unapologetically blunt, but he may have felt a shadow of remorse when Alois's form shivered as he took in a gasping breath.

Ciel sighed softly, turning to face the other boy. "He killed you, Alois," he said, sympathetic but firm.

Alois responded after a moment, nearly inaudible. "Yeah, because he loves you."

"He's a demon. He's incapable of such an emotion." He said this with enough distaste that it nearly masked the pain the words gave him. He'd been deluded too. "He lusts after my soul, nothing more. The both of them. Any affection they show me is a charade."

Alois detested the ungratefulness of Ciel's answer, not truly considering the words as he shook in anger. "At least you have that much! At least you can pretend!" 

Ciel, surprisingly, did not return the anger, instead meeting his Alois's eyes with a forlorn smile. "You out of anyone should know that only twists the dagger."

Alois's eyes flashed, but then softened under Ciel's gaze. Damn him.

"Especially," he started to continue, then seemed to roll his eyes to himself before getting up and moving closer to the other, right in front of him. "Especially for those of us too clever to lose ourselves in our own illusions."

Alois looked down at Ciel's hand, which now rested on his knee, his thumb moving idly in a comforting motion. 

Light blue eyes looked up through wet eyelashes into eyes dark blue and violet. "Then I don't want to be clever," Alois murmured. "I would much prefer not to know that I have nothing and no one."

Ciel blinked. His stomach dropped. Any other person's reaction to the sensation might have been a ragged breath, a tear, maybe. 

"You have me."

He didn't process the words until they were already past his lips. But he meant them. 

God damn, he meant them. That was odd. Caring about people wasn't really something Ciel did. 

An incredulous, nearly choked voice cut off his thoughts. "You c-can't say things like that unless they're true." There was still a fragile resolve, a remnant of a protective wall to dispel hurt. 

Ciel furrowed his brow before matching the resolve, taking Alois's hand. "It is true, you bloody spider," he grumbled, but met his eyes.

Alois's face went slack and his lips parted. His face was drained of all emotion, save a flash of hope. 

This was only for a moment, though, before his trademark goddamn borderline-lunatic smirk took over his face. Fuck all if Ciel ever thought he'd be happy to see that expression.

Alois slunk himself around beside Ciel, shyly leaning into the other boy. 

From the crook of his shoulder, Ciel heard, "It better be, you sodding guard dog."

~

Ciel tried not to think too hard about the logistics of the room his mind had created for fear the floor might crumble beneath him. But that was a bit more difficult with the noise.

The murmurs he didn't mind. He'd come to adore Alois's voice, actually. It was the clacking of the other boy's shoes against the tiled floor, ten paces forward, swivel, ten paces back, that threatened to snap in half Ciel's sanity. Honestly, if he was the one who created this room, shouldn't he have the power to change the tiles to carpeting? 

"Alois?"

He continued to look down at his feet as if he hadn't heard.

"Alois."

He spoke a bit louder and more firmly, but still, the only answer he received was clacking.

"Alois!"

Finally, with a partial swivel, it stopped, and the still rather spaced-looking boy gave him a sweet grin.

"Yes, Ciel?"

Alright, there was no possible way to be irritated with that. "...Come here."

The other's smile widened, and he was quickly by Ciel's side. The younger boy slipped his hand into his and he blushed slightly, squeezing it.

"Still a bad morning?"

Alois giggled. "Afternoon now," he corrected. "And no, but it could be better."

Ciel scoffed fondly. "Is that so? I don't suppose there's anything I could do."

And Alois licked over his pulse before telling him, "Well, there is one thing," in that soft sweetheart drawl, and Ciel suddenly had a certain understanding of how enticing a soul could be. 

Alois shifted into Ciel's lap, smiling innocently as he settled over his hips, pulling his tie free and shrugging off his doublet.

"You'll be the death of me," Ciel said with a dark grin, taking care of Alois's shirt buttons after he'd slipped out of his waistcoat, running curious fingers over the skin he exposed. 

Alois smirked as he pushed Ciel's coat off his shoulders. "Hm-mm, I'll just make your dreams come true."

Ciel chuckled. It was an accurate statement, as their body recognized these interactions as wet dreams. 

But as Alois cupped Ciel's chin in his hand, pulling him into an impatient kiss, he cancelled out the external reality.

~

"Do you think I could order him to let me kill him? That should be only fair."

Alois spoke softly as he combed his fingers through the hair of the crying Ciel in his lap.

"Yeah, it would only be right, y'know. We'd watch the fear fill his wretched red eyes," he smiled, cupping Ciel's cheeks and pressing a quick kiss to his lips before wiping his thumbs under the other boy's eyes. "We'd watch him bleed and thrash and scream, Ciel. No, both of them! We'd have them begging us to just please kill them. We could make those perverts cry!"

Alois giggled happily at the thought, and Ciel couldn't help but smile, which earned him another kiss. Ciel knew he was emotionally worthless to Sebastian, he knew that, it was why he had snapped at all. He couldn't handle the - the touches Sebastian gave him as he undressed him. The unnecessary ones, that under a different gaze would have been caring caresses, but from his butler made his body feel like a piece of meat - no, a piece of merchandise. 

He hadn't had a flashback in so long. 

He'd been doing so well.

"You still are doing well," came the voice Ciel so adored, and he hadn't realized he'd said that aloud, or maybe Alois had sensed him somehow, but whatever, "So amazingly well, Ciel. You're incredible." 

Ciel sniffed and bit his lip before giggling as kisses were pressed all over his face. "Aloisss..."

He pulled away reluctantly, pouting playfully. "They're just kisses."

"It's silly."

"But it made you laugh!" He paused, pushing a hand through Ciel's hair. "I wanna make up for every tear those shitstains made you cry."

Ciel's brow furrowed, and he let out an incredulous chuckle. "I love you."

Alois's face slacked for a moment, just like it had before. Then he bit his lip in the type of happiness that threatened more tears, then smirked. "I love you too, you sodding guard dog."

Ciel rolled his eyes and pulled the older boy into another kiss. "Stupid bloody spider."

~

"Why were you always so mean to her?" Ciel asked quietly. Alois was cuddling with Hannah outside, his hand locked with Ciel's so he could still sense him.

He shook his head, looking at him. "I don't know." He looked back up at Hannah. "I'm clearly not the most sane person," he added, the qualifier referencing the labyrinth far below them.

"Do you forgive me?" Alois asked of Hannah, and she stroked his cheek and nodded. "Of course I do, Jim. I love you."

Alois grinned widely and leaned into her again. "I love you too, Hannah."

She held him in happy silence for a little longer before gently asking, "Have you decided?" 

He gasped softly and turned to Ciel, looking at him like he was the most precious thing in the world. 

>He is.<

Alois took a deep breath and kissed Ciel, fiercely, urgently. Like it was the last time he ever would.

He left a hand resting on the younger boy's face as he pulled away and looked at him. "I love you, Ciel. Never forget that, 'kay?"

And then he pulled away, looking up to Hannah and dropping Ciel's hand so he wouldn't hear. 

But Ciel's face drained of color at the near immediate realization. "Alois, no. Please."

"Darling. Please. Please! You wouldn't do this, you wouldn't leave me alone with them!"

Ciel continued his stilted hysteria, and when Alois's soul started to drift from their body - it wasn't Ciel's body, it was their body - his screams reached the surface, less in words and more in heartbroken, terrified sobs.

"You c-can't leave me! I love you! I -"

And then Hannah was holding him, and then there was nothing.

~ 

Ciel sat atop a nondescript skyscraper, immaculate white wings curled around him slightly to act as a windscreen.

Alois's final wish was to protect Ciel from their tormentors. Forever.

He smiled to himself, shaking his head as he grasped the ruby ring that hung around his neck.

"Stupid bloody spider."

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [oftrancy](oftrancy.tumblr.com) ¦¦ spam/writing
> 
> it took me a whole day to write something that's probably taken you less than twenty minutes to read. did it at least drain you a little?


End file.
